Note: My emotions got the best of me, so if the writing of this seems “Unprofessional”, I apologize. However, giving you a well educated and articulated review of this mixtape is A) Not worth my time B) Me lying to you. I’d also like you to know ahead of time that this review relates to the music she makes, not her personally. This is not a personal attack, just an attack on something that attacked my senses. Thus, here is my completely unedited review of Kitty (Formerly known as Kitty Pryde’s) new mixtape, D.A.I.S.Y. Rage.

I loathe Kitty Pryde.

Not personally. I loathe her as an act. At some point last year, she dropped her “Breakout” track, OK Cupid. While I think Lil B’s shtick is (Sometimes) hilarious, everything about Pryde’s music just angered me. She takes Lil B’s low quality rapping and cloud beats, lathers it in “Look how cute I am!” lyrics, obligatory cool references, and “Hipster-Pandering” (I mean seriously, the PBR drinking is pushing it a bit hard, is it not?). I hoped that this was a one track, one time thing. But then it wasn’t.

She dropped a mixtape, the horrendous Hahaha, I’m Sorry (The name of the mixtape along angers me). It was full of OK beats with Kitty “rapping” over them. OK, I should probably remove those quote marks. I don’t really have anything against her technical ability. She’s not exactly a bad rapper. I mean, sure, she’s sometimes drowned out by her production, but she can have some slightly interesting flows (They kind of came out on the final track).

But that’s it. The vocal infliction she gives to much of her rhymes comes across as weak and whiny. She’s trying to be cute and sexy, but she comes across as a winy 5 year old talking about sleeping medication and…well…that’s about it. I can’t hear what she’s saying half the time. The beats are the one redeeming quality to some of her music, and while drowning Pryde out might be a good thing, it really prevents what she’s saying from being said. Sure, this might be a new “style”, this quiet talky thing that Pryde’s made a name of. But I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

As I’ve said before, this is basically ripping a page out of Lil B’s book and making origami with it. The nice cloud beats and lazy rapping is there. But instead of having deadpan, humorous qualities, it replaces that with “Sexy and Indie!”. And it doesn’t work. She lacks any charisma (Or at least a charisma that works well with the music), and comes across as aggressively insecure. I mean, in all of her videos and concert clips, she just kind of stands around awkwardly. I mean, sure, I’d love if some good hip-hop came out that wasn’t pumped full of testosterone and braggadocio . The catch is that the emcee has to have something else interesting, either in what they say or how they say it. PRYDE HAS NEITHER OF THESE THINGS.

Kitty Pryde brings on guests like Antwon, who really illustrate her insufficiency on another level. I mean, Antwon comes onto the beat with a hard-hitting delivery and OK verse. Then Kitty comes on, and it sounds like we’re watching a boxing match between a young Mike Tyson and Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver (Just go with it). It’s pathetic. And when there aren’t any guests, we’re treated with the displeasure of Kitty Pryde rapping for the entirity of a track.

When I can hear the lyrics, she’s saying things that aren’t worth my time hearing. Normally, she’s talking about casual use of Benadryl and being awesome. And regardless of what she’s talking about, she’s using a whispery “cute” voice. It’s the most grating Hip-Hop delivery I’ve heard since Biz Markie tried to sing. Except that was at least endearing. There is nothing redeeming or enjoyable or sexy or remotely likable about Pryde’s music (Save the beats).

And to the comments I’ll inevitably receive relating to “You’re taking the music too seriously”, I say this:

I know I’ve mentioned Lil B too many times already, but the comparison really works to show how his music can (sometimes) be effective and Pryde’s is not. Both of them are similar in that their music is horrible. Neither are exactly skilled rappers (Lil B for sure, Kitty Pryde not yet), and both rely on non-musical elements to get by. I understand this. Lil B tries to be funny. Kitty Pryde tries to be cute. The difference? Lil B’s music is bad and it makes me laugh. Kitty Pryde’s music is bad and legitimately angers and offends me.

This EP is awful, Kitty Pryde’s music is awful, and the feeling I got when I had the displeasure of listening to this EP…was awful.

Sorry for hating.

I feel hurt.

Summary:

Choice Cuts: Unfollowed

.5/5

Stream Dead Island below (OK, just look at the title of the video. Even that makes my blood boil). If you feel like hating yourself, you can stream the tape here.