Seriously, f**k this album.
No no no…for real. This is…gahhhh.
Let me try to reign it in here. Iggy Azalea was signed to T.I.’s Grand Hustle label a couple of years back. One of her first videos to go viral was for a song called Pussy…which, yeah. After a couple of years of label fighting, she ended up on Island Records. She was featured on the XXL Freshman list a few years back (Which included Danny Brown, Future, and some less desirable choices (Oh, Macklemore. Oh, Kid Ink)). Listening to The New Classic…well…um…
Why? Why? My distaste for this album isn’t for Azalea’s persona or how she depicts herself, and I certainly don’t discount her as a rapper simply because she’s a very blonde white woman. I discount her because her flow and delivery makes Nicki Minaj sound grounded and subtle. She sounds perpetually drunk and whiny on every track. It might be her accent, and maybe it’s just ignorance on my part. But, I’m pretty sure it’s not ignorance…I’m pretty sure this album is just unrelentingly annoying. It doesn’t help that The New Classic is decidedly the least classic album I’ve ever heard. Her lyrics are just the sprinkles on the shit sundae; the metaphors and wordplay she uses is so banal that it’s almost unbearable. It’s 2014- If you’re still calling your flow “retarded”, you need to reevaluate your lyrics/life.
Every song is bogged down with a nutty and poppy production, and then further ruined with some of the most unbearable hooks. The laser-like sound on Change Your Life is particularly obnoxious, backed by some heavy drums that sound like they’re straight out of a Black Eyed Peas song that was popular back in 2009 (The bridge “I got that good good” “It never goes good…It never goes bad” is particularly obnoxious). Then there’s the acoustic guitars on the absolutely unbearable 100, which are so clean and fake sounding that I can’t even bring myself to analyzing what they do to the rest of the song. Even when Azalea brings guests in, nothing can be saved. T.I. delivers a verse that might have been good on Change Your Life, but it’s so lost in reverberation that you can’t find out its quality. Normally Charli xcx can deliver a great performance and hook (See Danny Brown’s Float On), but her Icona Pop-style chorus makes an already annoying song even more annoying (“WHO DAT, WHO DAT”.)
The New Classic (I seriously cannot get over this title)- on top of all of these, er, unique problems- also has to deal with some classic debut-album troubles. The album cannot decide quite what it wants to be. New Bitch has a beat that sounds almost transcendent and emotional, but it’s about being “the new bitch” (By the way, props to claiming you’re basically someone’s object and also making it clear that you’re a gold digger. That’ll get you points in the Rap Game!). The only beat I’d say really works is on the lead single Work, which has an absolutely explosive bass drop in the chorus. Anywhere else it would probably be generic and derivative, but on The New Classic, it’s a miracle (It’s also the only song that Azalea sounds remotely on point on the mic). Also, what the hell is the beat on Impossible Is Nothing? The songs is already confused enough in whatever ass-backwards message it’s trying to promote…there are like muted trumpets and a toy xylophone and some whining guitar? Also, there’s a harp on Goddess. HOW CAN YOU TRY TO SOUND REMOTELY POWERFUL WITH A CUTESY LITTLE HARP PLAYING BEHIND YOU. YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GOD-LIKE, BUT IT DOESN’T. YOU SOUND LIKE SOME KIND OF LOONEY TUNE. The guitar solo at the end is fine…but it literally sounds like someone walked into the wrong recording studio. The last few tracks of the album (Particularly Black Patra and Fuck Love) has some more Reggae influences (And I’m pretty sure some Diplo work within them), but they’re not enough to save an album this deep in the ditch.
When we asked for more women in Hip-Hop…this… is not what we meant.
Summary: The New Classic is awful. There is literally nothing redeeming or virtually enjoyable or remotely pleasant about this album.
Choice Cuts: Work
Leftovers: Literally everything but Work.
F
You can…actually, no. You can’t stream anything below. It’s not worth it. The New Classic is out now on Island. Sorry.
Vantage Point Music 